an explanation will follow

so i did that thing drunk people tend to do: i made a bad decision.
this decision happens to have been made several times in the past.
each time i become more of the "bad person". odd, cos this decision is really a two personer.

i reran on a hook up that has always ended badly.
i know that she likes me, but it must be clear as day that - while i think she's a fantastic person - i'm just not gonna get my ring out and tie us together in any way what so friggin ever.

now the best part of the wannabe campus gay mafia have it in for me.
this particularly sucks cos one of the dons is/was my object of like.
also, her mates still have two of my hats. i need them back, but it's quite possible that i may lose them.

if her friends are anything like mine, there might even be a ritual burning.
no, wait, her friends are self-righteous, self-important, never not got a first people. they are nothing like my people.

all for you

i've been using up all my internet cap looking for the right photo to copy and paste onto my facebook wall so when it  comes up in your news feed you will think: wow, that is so cool and stuff. this girl must be so cool and stuff.
you will also know, even though i won't tell you, that i pasted it there just for you. just so you would look at it.
then, in a flash reminiscent of the crappy special effects we grew up with, you will realise that what i'm trying to get you to realise is that i kinda like you*.
all this without me saying a single word.

obviously i haven't yet found this picture.
so a handful of words on a blog no one reads will have to do.

*(actually - i really like you)

learning

look. i'm writing again.
i must be avoiding something ridiculously painful. like studying.

it's odd. i want to be an academic. really i do. why settle for ms when i can have randomus latinus after my name? only shit thing is studying. i like learning, but tests make me wanna spend the afternoon cataloguing my not so not stolen music. and - apparently - blog. but i only have one more.

one more test. in my life (maybe).
really it's one test, four exams. but exams are a different flavour. i'm better at exams than tests. tests have that air of unseriousness (i mean, it feels like if you stuff up there's always the exam to fix things). exams have a finality even i can't ignore. it's like a weight.

next year it's just learning. and writing. and maybe play teaching.
paradise. well, easy lifestyle rather.
also, lots of guitar. next year there'll be lots of guitar.

maybe i should sleep.
can't - drank too much coffee.
maybe i should study. ha, that was funny.

did i forget?

yes.

i totally forgot i had a blog. don't blame me though - it's all pathology. i'm adhd - wait, no. not anymore. i have gad now. same symptoms, same meds, shorter acronym.

it just means i have trouble concentrating on the important things. like how many sugars you said you wanted in your tea. or like on these 300+ pages i have to cram for friday's test.

yeah, the last one's a bummer.

PS: i am twenty two and six months now - with some bronze coins for change.